Talking to God

Saturday, February 17th, was the first attempt to take Aiden off of ECMO. That morning, the surgical team came into Aiden's PICU room. The machine was turned down a little to see if Aiden's heart would catch the slack from the machine. Still, his right ventricle would not do what it was supposed to do.
I was called into an empty room where Dr. Pastuszko and I could talk about the options. Dr. Pastuszko decided to let Aiden's heart rest over the weekend. On Monday, the machines would be turned down again to see if Aiden's heart would work on it's own. If it would, great. If not, the first procedure to shunt off the right ventricle would be done.
I asked about a heart transplant and if Aiden would be a candidate. Surprisingly, the dr said it would be. Aiden would be transported to the heart transplant hospital in St. Louis. The waiting list for a heart that small is about 6 months time. However, the shunting of the right ventricle would buy Aiden at least 6 months time and the second surgery to close off the ventricle would not need to be done.
On Sunday, things still weren't looking all that well for Aiden. Chris and his daughter, Chelsea, came to OKC to visit myself and Aiden. It was hard for me to explain what all the machines (the artificial heart, the artificial lungs, the artificial kidneys, and the breathing machine). These were the machines doing all the things that Aiden's little body should have been doing on its own. We had gone to a restaurant to eat a late lunch. When I got back to the hospital, there were new doctors crammed into his little room. They were ordering a lot of blood to be pumped into Aiden's tiny little body. For the first time, Aiden looked like a healthy baby. His colour was perfect and he was FAT! Granted all the "fat" was actually fluid products being pumped in.
Now, I will be the first person to admit that I was not a very religious person before Aiden was born. However I did ask everyone I knew to pray that Aiden would come out of this and be healthy. How could I pray to God that my baby be ok without it sounding selfish? I did though, go to the chapel in the hospital and have a heart-to-heart with God. I reminded him that he put Aiden on the Earth for a reason. I didn't know what that reason was, but He could not take Aiden away. Aiden still had lots of people to meet and teach this world something.